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Part 4 of a four part series by Maria Nemeth, Ph.D., MCC
Coaching Principles:
Clarity, Focus, Ease and Grace Part 4: Grace Our final principle is grace. One definition of grace is that it is an unearned blessing. The gateway to grace-to seeing the blessings that surround us-is gratitude. As a coach you can support your clients to bring gratitude to everyday living. Without it, goal attainment becomes another exercise in simply keeping promises. There is no elegance or enjoyment. We're not spontaneously grateful. People have a natural tendency to look at what is not working in life. Our brains are hardwired for this. In prehistoric times, when we lived in caves, we didn't have fangs or fur and couldn't run very far. But we did have a brain that could look for everything that could go wrong. That's one of the factors that kept us alive: seeing the possibility of danger. A false-positive (seeing danger when there is none) was a better strategy to protect us from predators than a false negative (seeing no danger when there is). Fast forward a few hundred millennia. How many wooly mammoths are we likely to run into on our way to work? Try telling that to our brains. They still look for danger as though we were out in a dark forest. Your clients frequently come to coaching sessions with these fearful conversations in tow. As coaches we often buy into them without knowing it, simply by trying to process, manage, or diminish them. However, whatever we focus on grows and gathers strength-even when we're focusing on it in order to make it go away. A far easier way is to encourage your clients to develop the capacity for gratitude. It opens the heart and brings them closer to the experience of grace. Example: Your client Alice is working on her hair salon's website with a consultant. He has asked her to give him some content material. She comes to see you highly agitated. "I don't know how to do what he's asking. I'm not a writer. Whatever I write won't make sense. I couldn't spell my own name if I didn't already have it memorized!" As her coach, here is a suggestion for an approach you could take:
Summary: We have looked at clarity, focus, ease and grace, and how to develop coaching strategies that employ these four principles. We bring clarity to coaching when we are aware that all of our clients-without exception-are heroes, with goals and dreams and a desire to make a difference. We can support them to focus upon what is already working and upon their creative ideas rather than their customary issues. Ease is attained when clients learn to take small, sweet steps toward goal-attainment, enjoying the journey along the way. Finally, they encounter grace as they awaken to the experience of gratitude. Coaching is powerful in helping others to live the lives they were meant to live. It is no wonder that many of us consider it to be a philosophy, a profession, and a personally profound calling. About our expert: Maria Nemeth, Ph.D., MCC, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Master Certified Coach, is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and seminar leader. She is the founder and Creative Director of the Academy for Coaching Excellence. For more than 20 years, Dr. Nemeth has trained professional coaches, ministers, clinicians, executives, teachers, and private individuals using the coaching methods and skills that she has designed. Her courses and workshops have been taken by thousands of people who report significant, extraordinary changes in their lives as a result of these principles. Contact: Academy for Coaching Excellence 1900 Point West Way, Ste 122 Sacramento, CA 95815 Email: mnemeth@academyforcoachingexcellence.com Phone: 916-798-7066 Web: www.academyforcoachingexcellence.com For updated information on our choice Multi Media Expert Series visit www.morefromchoice.com For archived MP3 audio library visit www.morefromchoice.com For the choice expert series archives visit www.choice-online.com/expertseries.html choice, the magazine of professional coaching  become a fan  tweet us  link up with us Feedback is welcome at ExpertSeries@choice-online.com Visit our choice Websitechoice, the magazine of professional coaching
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