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Part 2 of a four part series by Maria Nemeth, Ph.D., MCC
Coaching Principles:
Clarity, Focus, Ease and Grace Part 2: Focus Part I of our series looked at the principle of clarity. In part I we look at focus. In your coaching practice, do your clients primarily focus on:
Success is doing what you said you'd do in life with clarity, focus, ease and grace. By this definition success is an inside job. We don't need to compare ourselves with the accomplishments, real or imagined, of others. With this view of success we are not so much interested in the quantity of "things" that we have or do in life, but at the quality of our experience of living itself. Everyone knows that what we focus on grows in our experience. Focus on red convertibles and you'll see them more of them, now that they are at the center of your attention. Were they always there? Yes. But you weren't looking for them. Neurophysiologists tell us that focusing on thoughts creates synaptic pathways that become like grooves in our brain, thus increasing the probability that we'll think them again. How to incorporate the principle of focus in our coaching strategies when working with clients' habits of thought? Example: This is your fourth session with Susan. Her goal is to swim with the dolphins in Florida in six months. Today she says the following: "I want to swim with the dolphins. But I'm starting to feel guilty about this goal. It seems so indulgent. I'm saving the money for it. That's not the issue. I just don't feel like I'm entitled to have a goal like this." As her coach, what do you say? Does telling her not to feel guilty help? No. Do questions designed to have her look logically at the fact that she is entitled to her goals make any difference? Probably not. Consider the following using the principle of focus: "Susan, you may be used to feeling guilty right before you go for a goal you really want. Is this true? (Susan nods). Let me ask you something: What interests you more: your guilt or swimming with those dolphins? Your guilt may or may not go away. If you want, we could wait another year to see if it does. But which are you truly more interested in right now, your guilt or your goal? And this is the trick: you must focus on something because you find it interesting in and of itself. Not because you want to get away from another experience. Anything you want to get away from will only pursue you further in your experience. That's because when you think "I want to get away from guilt" the brain only recognizes the word "guilt." And the groove gets deeper. Tools:
About our expert: Maria Nemeth, Ph.D., MCC, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Master Certified Coach, is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and seminar leader. She is the founder and Creative Director of the Academy for Coaching Excellence. For more than 20 years, Dr. Nemeth has trained professional coaches, ministers, clinicians, executives, teachers, and private individuals using the coaching methods and skills that she has designed. Her courses and workshops have been taken by thousands of people who report significant, extraordinary changes in their lives as a result of these principles. Contact: Academy for Coaching Excellence 1900 Point West Way, Ste 122 Sacramento, CA 95815 Email: mnemeth@academyforcoachingexcellence.com Phone: 916-798-7066 Web: www.academyforcoachingexcellence.com For updated information on our choice Multi Media Expert Series visit www.morefromchoice.com For archived MP3 audio library visit www.morefromchoice.com For the choice expert series archives visit www.choice-online.com/expertseries.html choice, the magazine of professional coaching  become a fan  tweet us  link up with us Feedback is welcome at ExpertSeries@choice-online.com Visit our choice Websitechoice, the magazine of professional coaching
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