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Part 3 of a four part series by Janet Harvey, MCC
Live at Choice!
What does it mean to live at choice in your life? Part III Theme: Limits are self-imposed and self-released "To achieve both inspiration and discovery, individuals must reconcile within themselves a number of classic dichotomies: knowledge and innocence, reason and emotion, conquest and surrender, idea and matter. The mind will transcend its own rationalized past and weave new strands into the future." - R. Grodin, The Grace of Great Things
What new choices emerged as you increased your artfulness with pause? [1] With each new choice, what new inside-out habits are beginning to build? The core coaching competencies for designing actions, planning and goal setting and managing progress and accountability provide important insight about the release of limits on our boldness as coaches. For example, consider this set of MCC behavioral skills: "The coach allows actions and plans to include [best client] thinking, creating, doing and being. The structures and measures of accountability clearly reflect the client's best strengths as well as the best of the client's learning and creating methodologies." Effective transformative coaches are patient with the generation of awareness so that clients listen within as the source for actions and plans. When, as coaches, we are too quick to forward actions and plans, we short circuit the reconciliation process that Robert Grodin refers to in the quote above. And, as our theme last time revealed, the source of deep awareness is on the inside of a person. Neuroscience study of the brain amplifies the importance of deep awareness of self-imposed limits upon our habitual reactions. We are learning that it is not possible to break a habit. Rather, when we focus our attention on what will be a more meaningful and satisfying habit, the body responds by releasing serotonin. This pleasurable response compels the new habit while releasing the less pleasurable old habit. Our noticing through the art of pause of the reactive habits that are limiting our experience is self-observation, the critical trigger for self-awareness. From awareness we open the doorway toward invention of new habits and associated beliefs. Self release of the self imposed limits on our expression of essence in our lives is what generates the opportunity to live at choice. Release limits: be vital, be curious and be connected Habitual reactions bar release of self-imposed limits until we perceive the limits as dissatisfying, harmful or in the way of what we want. Any of those characteristics come along with the emotions of fear, anxiety or uncertainty. We know from experience, these emotions are either paralyzing or compel us to run away from a situation or relationship. This conundrum is resolved by the art of pause that allows us to choose a different response. Neuroscience offers more insight. When we move towards our vitality we access more physical and therefore more emotional and mental resource. Curiosity replaces judgment. Our curiosity compels us toward more pleasing connections with self and others. High quality connection stimulates more vitality. This natural rhythm fuels invention of more pleasing habits and releases limits on our essential expression. Ponder this inquiry until next time; we invite you to notice what your natural rhythm activates. What choices will stimulate my vitality, curiosity and deep connection with life? [1] Part II Inquiry: What strengthens my artfulness with pause so that I live at choice? About our expert: Janet M. Harvey, MCC Partner & CEO for inviteCHANGE, a company created for those in search of meaningful processes that help catalyze learning and integrate a process for lasting change in one's personal and professional life. Janet embraces transformative coaching as a discovery process that invites and enlivens clients to choose beliefs and behaviors that generate a magnificent life experience that consistently express a person's core and essential self. Contact: janet.harvey@inviteCHANGE.com Feedback is welcome at ExpertSeries@choice-online.com Visit choice, the magazine of professional coaching Website
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