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Part 4 of a four part series by Barbara Stanny
How Can You Tell If You, Or Your Client Is An Underearner?
Part IV Trait #8: Underearners are vague about money and success Underearners use the same methods to manage their money as they do to make most decisions: avoidance and delusion. They often have no idea how much money they have, how much they earn, how much they owe, or even how much they need. They operate by wishful thinking instead of strategizing and negotiating, as high earners do. And they are just as vague about why success eludes them. I often hear underearners say, as this woman did: "I'm smart. I'm good at what I do. Yet I'm always trying to get somewhere that I can't seem to get to. I really don't know why!" Compulsive spending and chronic debting are like quicksand. Once you get sucked in, you'll never make it to higher earnings until you start digging your way out. Trait #9: Underearners are anti-wealth Underearners can be terrible snobs. They're ambivalent or downright negative about money and/or people who have it. They dislike the wealthy, take great pride in living on a shoestring, believe there is virtue in being poor, and criticize those too focused on their finances. As one said, "I was always so proud of my ability to make do with so little. But your workshop made me realize that the nobility of being poor was making my life a disaster." Others are actually ashamed to admit money even matters. One person put it like this: "It's embarrassing to say you want to make money. A part of me thinks that if you want to help other people, it is selfish to want to make a lot of money doing it. Money is certainly not something I want to devote my life to." And yet, no one thinks more about money than an underearner. As one admitted during an interview, "If I earned more money, I wouldn't have to always think about it. I spend way too much time obsessing about where the money is going to come from." Trait #10: Underearners are controlled by fear They're afraid of success. They're afraid of failing. They're afraid of rejection, of being judged, of people liking them (or not) because of their money. They're afraid of the responsibility of having more, and the possibility of losing it all. Some are afraid to even address their finances because "it's so grim and pointless it'll throw me into a tailspin," according to one. And another said: "I'm afraid of what I'll see in my future if I don't change my patterns." Yet she was having trouble changing for fear of the unknown. "And I know," she confessed, "I won't make any progress until I confront my fears." It is the catch 22 for all underearners. I have to change. I'm afraid to change. But confronting my fear is my only way out." THE GOOD NEWS Did you figure out what these ten traits all have in common? Every one of them is self-imposed. Every one is something we do to ourselves. Go back and re-read each trait. Can you see how every one is the result of a choice you made. That's wonderful news. If you create the conditions for underearning to occur, you have the power to change them. Overcoming Underearning begins the moment you realize, as this person did: "I saw underearning wasn't an out-of-control thing. Underearning was my responsibility." About our expert: Barbara Stanny, a wealth coach, coach trainer, and author, is the leading authority on women and money. Her books include: "Overcoming Underearning;" "Secrets of Six-Figure Women;" and "Prince Charming Isn't Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money." Visit her website: http://www.barbarastanny.com Feedback is welcome at ExpertSeries@choice-online.com Visit choice, the magazine of professional coaching Website
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