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Part 2 of a four part series by Barbara Stanny
How Can You Tell If You, Or Your Client Is An Underearner?
Part II Trait #2: Underearners give their power away No wonder underearners feel trapped. They're constantly projecting their power 'out there'. They blame other people or outside conditions for causing their problems. Or they wait, hoping someone or something will come in and save them. Prince Charming is a favorite for women; the lottery ranks high for both genders. "I spent my whole life waiting for my shining knight," said a middle-aged woman, who was getting married for the first time. Then with a sigh, she added, "He came without a bankroll." So she came to the workshop. As long as you believe the locus of control lies outside of yourself, all attempts to overcome underearning will be half hearted or misdirected. Trait # 3: Underearners underestimate their value Underearners give away their time, knowledge, skills, experience for free or bargain prices because they don't believe they're worth more. "It never occurred to me I could make six figures," a graphic artist once told me. "I don't feel like what I do is good enough to make all that money. It's that old 'I'm not worthy' thing." She described a recent negotiation with a client. You could see others, nodding their heads, had done the same. "I told him my rates were $35, but in the next breath, I said 'for you I'll do it for $25 an hour.' I didn't even give him a chance to react." Because they devalue themselves, underearners instinctively settle for less or seek their value by volunteering, in the job or outside of it. There's nothing wrong with pro bono work--in fact it's a wonderful gift to those in need--as long as it's on top of an already satisfying, well-paying job. Trait # 4: Underearners crave comfort I'll never forget my conversation with a man about his newfound success. "I feel like I'm walking around in someone else's body," he said. "I almost want to go back to my old me. This new one is so unfamiliar." Change, even a dream-come-true, is rarely comfortable. Underearners will often unwittingly sabotage their success rather than endure the discomfort. Up to now, Stephen's lifelong pattern looked like this. "If I get too far below my comfort level, I make a big push to get more money. I'll go out and drum up business, call a friend who owes me money, whatever it takes. The reverse also happens. If I make a lot of money I will spend my way back to my comfort level. Which is where I am now. I hate this comfort level, but it's almost as if the motivation isn't there to take me higher." Stephen didn't realize he got something in exchange for his low pay, though at one point he practically admitted as much. "Living close to the edge gives me a sort of adrenalin rush. It goads me into action. But I don't like what it does to my life." Like it or not, financial turmoil has become his drug of choice. So many people actually get hooked on the havoc wrought by underearning. Often, beneath the underearner's inability to get ahead is a gaping emotional wound stemming from childhood trauma or more recent abuse. Underearning, like over spending, can be an unconscious attempt to numb the hurt. Financial tension becomes a perfect diversion from personal pain. But of course, as with all distractions, underearning never heals the ache. It only escalates it. Still, quitting an addiction requires discomfort. Take my Underearning Quiz at http://www.barbarastanny.com/underearner-quiz.html About our expert: Barbara Stanny, a wealth coach, coach trainer, and author, is the leading authority on women and money. Her books include: "Overcoming Underearning;" "Secrets of Six-Figure Women;" and "Prince Charming Isn't Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money." Visit her website: http://www.barbarastanny.com Feedback is welcome at ExpertSeries@choice-online.com Visit choice, the magazine of professional coaching Website
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